Writing gets it all out...

There's a part of me that just wants you back. You're the one thing I want that I never did have.

(via andkiahwaslike)

i tell everyone i'm okay

andkiahwaslike:

latenightramblings:

i tell them it didn’t matter that much to me and that i’m over it.
i act happy and i make jokes. i smile at all the right times.

but i’m not okay.
i’m hurt.
right down to the core.

i mean it this time.

andkiahwaslike:

latenightramblings:

it’s not worth it.
all i’ve been giving myself is false hope.
you don’t want to be my friend. or if you do, you don’t show it.

and i don’t want to be your friend
you’re really not nice to me half the time.
and i don’t want to be one of those girls who sticks around when a guy treats her badly.

so i’m done.
if i act like you don’t exist, it’s because i’m so aware of your presence, and i’m trying not to show it.
if i smile at you from now on, it’s not because i want to be with you and it’s not because i’m happy to see you.

it’s because i’m trying to be strong. i’m trying not to show you how much you really hurt me.

maybe one day i will.
after i’ve forgiven you and moved on.
but not today.
and not tomorrow.

I finally got closure from you, yet I still don't feel complete.

52hearts:

And I’m afraid I’ll always feel that way. Kind of make me wish I never let you in, in the first place and I’m kind of hoping you’ll eventually become one of the past that I end up forgetting about because I sure as hell don’t want you to be one of the ones I’ll always remember. But unfortunately, I think I will. You’ve already put an etch into my heart and I’ve only known you for a short amount of time that only included a short amount of interactions — but all too amazing to let go of. But I need to, because I see you’ve already done so with me. But if anything — if I do end up stuck on remembering you for as long as I live, my memories of you will always leave me with something of a bittersweet taste, just like you did with you and your never ending chase, that never got us anywhere, and had me running in circles for nothing, for nowhere, for someone not actually there and maybe only after so long I have realize it’s time to close that door and know under all that fun and mystery, we never meant to have much of a long-term history no matter how much my heart wanted one. It just wasn’t meant to be no matter how hard I tried to get you to see, I have to know now there will never be a you and me.